Before I get Chase Rachels and other AnCaps whom I respect lighting up the comments section with varying degrees of contempt and fuckoffery, let me make something clear: Anarchotards are to AnCaps what Lolberts are to Libertarians.

We’ve all come across them, infecting every corner of social media with their sophistry and ineptitude. If questioned about the likes of Bastiat, Lysander Spooner, Gustave de Molinari and Didero, they will hide behind low-resolution memes and consider the debate won after uttering the only comeback in their dwindling arsenal of watered-down witticisms: “you’re a statist!” Much like the well-renowned professional Lolbert, Larken Rose, who is equal parts wishful thinking and intellectual dishonesty. Whether it’s satire or not, below is a perfect example of why we need to physically remove degenerates LARPing as AnCaps.

Ancapistan meme

This meme’s intended purpose is to poke fun at AnCaps, yet in Ancapistan, it’s been unironically embraced by some and used to present a non-satiric defense of pedophilia. Because even pedos deserve rights in Ancapistan, apparently. Where does one draw the line between edgy and degenerate? At pedophilia is the answer, and if you disagree, you belong on a cross.

Anarcho-Capitalism itself is not to blame, it is an ideology that is grounded firmly in Austrian Economics and Classical Liberalism, with such innovative scholars as Murray Rothbard and Hans-Hermann Hoppe among its philosophical cadre. The influx of ignorance polluting the movement can be attributed to millenials and gen z. These are generations of Americans raised predominantly by liberal parents who voted for the Democrat Party religiously. Their offspring becoming disillusioned with Democrats, or simply wanting to rebel against their parents, have taken to Anarchism as a more extreme and unique political philosophy. These are the Ancaps who take the “good ideas don’t require force” philosophy too much to heart and are also the closet SJWs who call Hoppe a fascist.

“Let’s get stoned and have buttsex on my mom’s bed. That would be anarchy as fuck, bro.”

Once they realize absolute anarchy just isn’t feasible, many of them decide Anarcho-Capitalism is the next best thing. However, they don’t actually take the time to delve deeply into the history or practice of their newfound philosophy, and lacking any candidates or elected officials to represent them, they instead spend their days lowering the average IQ of the innerwebs by posting pointless edginess with all the precision and succinctness of an amputee on flakka.

Jake McCauley

What’s more irksome, they serve only to give real AnCaps a bad name, through their commitment to such stupidity as spastically posting about their undying hatred for the military and those who have served in it. We get it, you’re a pacifist cuck, with no job, no car, no girlfriend and no dick. If this description fits you, go back to the French Revolution and stay there. Anyone who advocates for open borders is as bright as a black fucking crayon. No self-respecting Libertarian can dispute the need for borders. Sovereign nations have borders for the same reason yards have fences. Because when your friendly new MS-13 neighbors decide they don’t like you selling pot to highschoolers on their turf, they will aggressively violate every orifice of your body faster than you can say “muh weed and buttsex.”

Lolbertarians get helicopter rides too


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