For those unfamiliar with Nathan Larson, he is a 37-year-old accountant running for the state senate out of Virginia’s 10th congressional district. He also happens to be a self-admitted pedophile, and is running on quite possibly the most deranged and sickening campaign agenda in modern history.

Some of the more colorful lowlights in his life include a 16 month prison sentence in 2009 after pleading guilty to threatening to kill the president, both Bush and Obama. Upon his release, he found someone desperate and dumb enough to marry him and reproduce. It should come as no surprise that their marriage was considered ‘rocky’ at best. With Larson admitting on multiple occasions to both raping her and being physically violent. The wife passed away shortly after giving birth and he had the balls to sue for primary custody more than once, believing the court would appreciate his honesty and be understanding about his being a pedophile, a proponent of legalized incest and a believer that both child pornography and child sex laws were a violation of civil rights. During a deposition for the custody trial, a prior email from him to his wife was entered into evidence. In the email he was quoted as saying “It didn’t concern me that given my history of raping you, as well as the gravity of what I was proposing doing with the children, I might irreparably destroy our relationship and any prospect of my ever seeing the children.” You can’t make this shit up…

Nathan Larson pedophile

As if a human being (and I use that term loosely) could possibly be any worse, he somehow found a way. In addition to believing it’s okay to record and distribute your sexual activities with your extremely underage child with or without their consent, he is a staunch advocate that we, as a society, should return to the days of treating women as property. In an interview with Huffington Post, which usually has the credibility of a random Facebook post, but in this instance it was a direct interview, he was quoted as saying “We [citizens] need to switch to a system that classifies women as property, initially of their fathers and later of their husbands.” While also referring to women as “rape posts,” pushing for the outright repeal of the 19th amendment and abolishing state funding for girls and women to attend high school and college.

Nathan Larson

I wasn’t sure it was possible to make Hitler look like less of a shitbag, but this guy has pulled it off with flying colors. I can’t even wrap my mind around anyone thinking any part of that is even remotely acceptable, much less all of…that. It’s even more mindblowing that he will almost certainly get votes. A less than zero percent chance of winning, but getting even one vote of support is beyond comprehension.

But, this is actually a good thing. I’m sure you wondered why I chose to use the word ‘thankful’ in the subtitle of this piece, but I assure you it is with good reason. Much like my previous column, where I encouraged people like Roseanne to outwardly express their racist comments, for no other reason than to expose the depth of the issue and give us a direction to focus our attention. I equally encourage people who believe what this soulless sack of shit believes to come forward. Show the good majority of this country just how depraved and dangerous some of our neighbors can be. If his comments cause even one parent to take better watch over their child and who they allow around them, then he will have done more for the greater good of our society than the rest of the days of his miserable life combined.

Much like Roseanne’s racist outbursts, this is a quality teaching moment. Women, be mindful about who you breed with. Birth control is inexpensive and readily available in many forms. Use it. You do your own thing, no slut-shaming here, but be mindful of the potential consequences of your actions. Reproducing with a hidden demon like this being one of many possible outcomes. Parents, please be assholes. Know who goes around your kids, know where your kids are going, know the people in your neighborhood. You cannot possibly be enough of an overbearing asshole when it comes to keeping your children safe. While Nathan Larson may just be a single man, his thoughts and desires are shared by many.

And since he has his beliefs, I have a few of my own. Well, two really, and they go hand in hand. With people like this (rapists and pedophiles) we should be allowed to visibly brand them. And anyone who encounters that brand is legally allowed to just beat the hell out of them. Viciously, savagely and within an inch of their life. And once they heal, everyone gets an email from the state that they’ve been released from the hospital so we can start the hunt all over again.

The other option is to just kill them and thin out the herd a little bit. But that wouldn’t be as satisfying as watching a rapist gasp for air, while bleeding from the head. Or watching a pedophile struggle to crawl with 4 broken limbs. It could be a truly galvanizing moment for the country as a whole. Citizens of every color, religion, gender and socioeconomic class hate a pedophile and hate a rapist. Maybe joining as one to truly rid the world of evil motherfuckers like this could help bridge whatever gaps we have as a people. We could truly make America great again….and then watch Trump take credit for it.

-Joey

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