I’m your host, the Political Millenial, welcome to the latest (and first) edition of Feminist Bullies. Today I will (re)introduce you to three feminist myths that keep them awake at night as they lie seething, stirring, and stabbing their Dwayne Johnson pillows repeatedly and viciously with shards of glass from the mirror they broke once they could no longer bear to see the face that seethed back at them every morning.

Myth #1: MUH WAGE GAP

Do not be fooled by the moderate feminists (is there such a thing as a moderate feminist? Comment below) when they attempt to skew the language from “wage gap” (obvious criminal injustice that does not occur) to “pay gap” (an admission that women EARN less money by putting in LESS work ON AVERAGE than the average man). They still claim that due to the fact women earn less on average that they are being denied money that they earned and are entitled to, which is a blatant falsehood. By every measured statistic economists are not freaking out over this supposed issue half as much as the feminist cult is. Then again, who can freak out with a tenth of the vigor of one of those groupthink banshees?

The truth of the matter is, and probably always will be, barring a male genocide, men have biological tendencies women do not share to the same level. Men are more workaholic, fight to climb the career ladder, and work overtime more often. Women can and will have children if they so desire, and no one is arguing that they should be overworked during their pregnancies. It’s such an injustice that women put in a little less work and get paid as such, but there is no problem with the fact 95% of the workplace fatalities are male? Surely in the name of equality feminists would argue to slim that gap with at least half the enthusiasm they devote to the wage gap myth? Cue the crickets. À la Middle East, this is one of the many areas of feminist hypocrisy.

The takeaway: as much as feminists will whine on #equalpayday that they are paid less, we should all whine that we are paid less than the major female CEOs in the world. Sure, we do probably 10% of the work they do per year, but it is so totally UNFAIR that we make only 5% what they do.

Myth #2: MUH PATRIARCHY

Yes, feminists love secret societies. Not actual secret societies mind you, but merely the perception of one. In fact, Emily Lindin summarizes their position quite well:

The amazing thing about the vitriol in this tweet is that it confirms her awareness that there are innocent men…therefore, what is this fabled, scary, secret patriarchy she mentions? It’s the sacrificial lamb scapegoat for her ideology: pure females engaging in worship at the altar of feminism upon which they sacrifice the male heathens…

The feminist excuse for every single female failure, shortcoming, or lifestyle choice that contradicts feminist doctrine is mythical “patriarchy” controlling them all. “Darn those mothers! Darn those stay-at-home wives! Curses upon them for not agreeing with us lesbians!” The only justification I have for taking these nutjobs seriously is the fact their message of gender warfare and belittling of motherhood harm the minds of young girls whose big dreams can be as wide ranged as CEO to raising children, both equally challenging tasks, with CEO probably coming in close second. Women generally like men. Feminists want to see them either subservient or out of the way altogether. Lock up the guilty. Lock up the innocent. As long as there are no men in power! Who’s the real sexist cult here, men who do well or feminists who hate that there are men who do well?

The takeaway: do not stray from the feminist doctrine lest you be excommunicated from the most lesbianic blogs on the net.

Myth #3: MUH RAPE

“Believe women” “They’re always to be believed” “No victim blaming” etc etc. All misleading hashtags distracting from the fact that the accused are innocent until proven guilty. The “1 in 4” statistic they threw around about college campuses (which ironically are statistically the safest places for women in America). No, 1 in 4 women are NOT raped ANYWHERE in America. This is not a war zone. This is not the Congo. This is not the Middle East, where feminists turn a nice big fat black blind eye to the oppression of women, gays, and religious freedom that permeate the Islamic religion. Lesson to the left-wing hack feminists: Islam is a religion, not an ethnicity. You feel free to belittle and attack Christianity every chance you get, why not take a jab at the religion that preaches the actual oppression of women, and normalizes wife beating and wife raping? Nah, let’s just keep pushing Dove shampoos for their burkas while they’re being whipped and raped and killed on a daily basis. That sends the perfect message of tolerance.

The takeaway: there aren’t even enough people bad enough to be rapists who aren’t behind bars already who could even begin to contribute to a 1 in 4 rape statistic in America. Either the feminists are lying, raping each other and telling half-truths, or the stat is totally false. Given the feminist track record, I feel most confident settling with the second option. Just going off their rhetoric and protest attitudes.

Conclusion: Feminists lie, because there is no credibility to their female supremacist ideology. Once their numbers dwindle and we weed them out of the important parts of society, such as academia, then I will laugh them off as the uneventful and pitiful loners they truly are.

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