After careful debate and heated discussion among progressive lawmakers, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has launched a daring new plan to eliminate the source of all of America’s problems: Boomers.

The 10 Year Plan, which will coincide with her Green New Deal, sets a 10 year goal for packing up every member of the Boomer generation into cattle cars — along with the nation’s cattle — and shipping them to an undisclosed underground location.

By sealing in all the hot air and cow farts produced by Boomers and cattle, Cortez believes we can save what’s left of our depleting ozone layer, lower greenhouse gases, entirely eliminate the sharing of QAnon posts and potentially stave off the end of the world. Her crack team of climatologists and gender studies majors have determined that 90% of all pollution is caused by people who can afford spacious homes that consume large amounts of electricity, ever-rising airfare rates and expensive, gas-guzzling SUVs. Of course, in today’s economy, the only group who can afford all of the above is Boomers.

Boomer-owned assets would be seized by the government, and the proceeds would go to funding approximately 0.00001% of the efforts called for in AOC’s audacious Green New Deal.

The biggest critics of the plan are the AARP and AIPAC, who would lose almost all of its biggest donors and supporters in the event of a Boomer ban.


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